Chasing Creativity – Part 2

A New Start

I knew just printing signs wasn’t my calling. I had been working extremely long hours and tasks became repetitive. I saw the laughable overpriced artwork ad agencies were sending our way to print and knew I could easily do ten times better. But the opportunity to do so came far and few in my new duties at the company.

I described the artist’s dream here, which was meant to be a prelude to this part, but it became so lengthy it deserved an article on its own.

This is why I took the bold step to start freelancing. I lacked motivation and inspiration in my now repetitive job and I always dreamt of growing my own art studio; this was simply the first step, in my mind.

I always knew I would start my own studio eventually. Feeling stagnant in the sign company, I didn’t feel like there was much more out there for me to accomplish elsewhere, since I temporarily worked in and interacted with other companies for my boss at times.

I got offers elsewhere when some found out I was leaving the company, but it felt like it was time to venture on my own.

Boy was I naive.

Financial Burdens

I wish I could say the rest is history and I was successful at starting my art studio, accomplishing x, y and z, but things didn’t pan out as expected.

Starting a studio required much more than I initially thought. One is a clear plan of execution since I was figuring out a lot along the way. As previously mentioned if I had a guiding light in the form of a mentor or even a family member, even in the slightest, things might have turned out differently I believe. It’s important to note that I’m not attempting to shift blame for the challenges I faced; I fully acknowledge that ultimate responsibility lies with me.

The second was financial stability. I don’t come from money, nor do I have any substantial savings. All the money I earned went back into my business.

Struggling financially ever since I started on my own, my goals fell further and further away. I struggled with various challenges continuously. Some are still persistent to this day. 

It is what it is.

Off Track

I even lost my passion and vision for some years, actually. The impulsive behaviour to draw, and design died away slowly. I was reluctant to do anything that wasn’t financially beneficial because it felt like I was wasting time. A behaviour imposed onto me by some people around me who didn’t understand my vision and saw me struggling.

Creating just for fun felt guilty.

Back on Track

Thankfully, if you want to look at it like this, through failed business ventures, partnerships, and otherwise I find myself rekindling my dreams once again, almost like finding that lost book, comic, movie, game or toy you had as a child.

So many memories and ideas are coming back to me, reminding me of what I felt back when things were simpler, what I dreamt of doing and what I set out to do.

Support

Over the years, I had time to iron out major wrinkles, and looking back now, I’m almost kind of glad things didn’t work out as expected. I probably wouldn’t have had such a bold conviction to pursue my grand dream as I do now.

A lot of baggage in the form of experiences and people who were beyond negative, fearful and uninspiring have now disappeared. A great deal has changed and the people around me now are my rock, my peace and part of my motivation. Something I lacked before.

Keep Moving Forward

Looking back I realise I didn’t lose complete sight of the vision, even with the failed ventures, they were more or less along the same lines. It was as though I was still working towards the dream subconsciously, just not with the same outcome in mind.

Everything is clearer, now that I’ve accomplished so much in my time off-course. Many fears and uncertainties have vanished because I’ve gained a wealth of knowledge and experience in my field, that I simply didn’t have before.

With my refound purpose, realigning with my dreams as I embark on this path I can’t help but quote the great and wise Buzz Lighter restarting this journey, “to infinity and beyond”.